"

Since 1999 I’ve been carrying a blue pill in my pocket, holding onto it for the moment when I’d truly need it. The pill, I was told, would instantly erase the memory of any movie — but just the one movie, just the one time.

I was tempted to take that pill after “Freddy Got Fingered.” I had the pill in hand as I walked out of every other Adam Sandler movie of the last decade.

But I hung on to it, knowing something even worse was going to come my way one day.

Midway through “Movie 43,” I knew the day had come. As the credits rolled with the inevitable blooper scenes of actors breaking character and inexplicably laughing when nothing funny is going on, I swallowed that pill, hoping to erase instantly all mental images of what had just transpired.

It didn’t work. The !&$@*! thing didn’t work!

"
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