both my parents just watched the descendants (I haven’t seen it) and they were like ‘stylistically it’s good but it’s like pointlessly sad’

honestly that’s exactly how i feel about it

the performances are average all around except for clooney who does good but nowhere near his best, the direction is competent which is to be expected from payne (election, about schmidt, etc), but the writing is just this amalgam of melodrama and sadness that tries to shove in some dark humor but fails miserably and it’s a goddamn shame that the only reason i can say academy award winner dean pelton is because of this bland ass movie

tbh the worst part about the descendants was that her dad literally spanked her in the hospital. also everything else about the movie was the worst part. that was a bad movie

c a c k l i n g

HOW ARE

PEOPLE ACTUALLY INTO

THE TRAILER FOR THE SPECTACULAR NOW

IT’S SO

ABC FAMILY

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coveredinbugs:

IM SCREAMING

thehawkdaddy

i don’t get shailene woodley

Throughout her career, Coppola has been dogged by references to her privileged upbringing, and a recurring tendency to conflate the director and her protagonists. After likening the luxe-besotted heroine of “Marie Antoinette” to Paris Hilton, the New Yorker’s Anthony Lane went on to say:

“On the other hand, I spent long periods of ‘Marie Antoinette’ under the growing illusion that it was actually made by Paris Hilton… There are hilarious attempts at landscape, but the fountains and parterres of Versailles are grabbed by the camera and pasted into the action, as if the whole thing were being shot on a cell phone and sent to friends.”

This kind of bubbling bon mot is Lane’s stock in trade, the kind that invariably makes people say, “I love him — he’s so funny.” But there’s a unique kind of derision that attaches to Coppola, a level of personal affront that never seems to fall on Whit Stillman or Noah Baumbach. To be sure, Coppola’s not as arch as Stillman or as self-flagellating as Baumbach; she watches her characters from up close rather than at a safe distance, more interested in seeing the world through their eyes than judging it through hers. But even after five features, she’s still treated in some corners like an upstart, a spoiled little girl who owes her career to her famous father (Jason Reitman, by contrast, has earned everything he’s ever had).

The Spectacular Now looks so… terrible. Like, after delivering a double feature like Spring Breakers and The Bling Ring, A24 is letting me down with this bland ass teen rom-dram.

“There is a reason why genius doesn’t come from the priveleged classes: the edge isn’t there.”

I’M GOING TO

EAT SOMEONE ALIVE

there’s a pretty good chance if you’re saying that sofia coppola can’t grasp satire like whit stillman, jason reitman, and other white men, you’re a sexist asshole and that’s not okay!!! :)

chrismello:

Yesterday a man approached me with “Do you speak English?” Being the honest gentleman I am I told him I did indeed. He told me he had written a book. Great! I love books. He had copies on him. Even better! I love supporting independent artists. He told me his book was called “6 Ways to Tell if Your Girl Is into Girls.” I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Whaaaaaat?” I said, “I wrote a book by that very same name!”

The man was taken aback. “I assure you tha-“

“I’LL SEE YOUR ASS IN COURT”

chrismello